josigirl13
josigirl13's Cancer Blog
July 8, 2007
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Alas, my friends, the last several days have been very uneventful. I had a doctor’s appointment on Friday. They changed the dressing on my PIC line. That’s about it. No news and nothing happening. I have been reading books and watching movies and entertaining a few visitors in between. I thought I would share another of Dan’s little bar-study diversions he has been writing me. All that analysis all day does not make dan a dull boy. Enjoy!
A LONG TIME AGO… by Dan Porrasa long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…
TAN! tatatan! tatatatatatatataaaaan! taaaaaan taaaan tata ta taaaaan….the galxy is in chaos. war has broken out on every system and no end is in sight. a deployment of jedis had been sent to the intestacy planet to help fight off an attack of evil mutant worm droids called “leukemians” that were destroying the peaceful villagers. unfortunatley, we were attacked on our ship before we could even land.
thousands of killer mutant monster demon leukimians stormed the ship. their firepower was unlike anything we’d ever seen. master cypher diaz was decapatated in the first onslaught. the remaining three student jedis, myself included, made a dash for the cargo hull, a place we could secure ourselves. there, we were trapped and had to wait for our deaths. my friend began to cry, “we’re never gonna get out, we’re all gonna die!” then we heard it. an enormous thud, then a crunch, and the digging. the feel of a huge worm digging through the hull. soon the ship would be ripped apart and we would all float off into space.
i turned around and saw a tiny shimmer in the corner of the hull. there was a small campfire lit, and jedi master dix-on sat quietly, munching on a recently prepared meal. she spoke without turning to us: “you should eat.”
i walked over in disbeleif. we were so scared we couldn’t even lift our lightsabers, yet this jedi was totally calm. “master, what will we do? the liukemians are coming and there is no way out. we’re outnumbered, out matched, and outgunned. their cellular structure is just toooooo much!” the walls were starting to flex. you could hear the metal scraping all around. the mutants were coming.
then, just like that, master dix-on stood up, took off her robe and said “you must trust in the force”. with that, the hull door smashed open! the humongous worm filled the hull with its massive jaws. thousands of liukimeans were crawling all over the walls, blasters drawn, ready to shred us apart.
i wet myself. master dix-on just stood. there was a moment of total quiet. like a storm was about to erupt. little did the liekemians know, they were not the storm.
i didn’t see anything. master yoda told me that master dix-on always destroys the lights before she attacks because it is too gruesome for others to see. and anyway she moves so fast you wouldn’t see anything except a blur of blue lightsaber tearing flesh and hacking limbs. all in all, i felt a tremendous fight in that room, i heard terrible screams. and in a few minutes of total darkness, i saw the light of a campfire renew in the corner of the hull. master dix-on had lit her fire again and was sitting clamly, eating her meal. when our eyes finally adjusted, we saw the massacred bodies of thousands of liukemians and a huge worm’s guts splattered all over the walls.
“you should prepare to land” i hear master dix-on command, “there is plenty more fight to come. and you would do well to trust the force”.
and that is how the great master dix-on saved us all from the liukimeans, and never broke a sweat.
-an official record of the jedi archives.
06.22.08 - 
Sara 
Lan 
Kasia 
Thanks for your support -
Miss you! Thinking of you :)
Hi to our favorite lawyer niece. We’re here at made in the shade spending our time reading your blogs. Kathy finally told me to google you and there you were. Yeah – well we can tell you have wonderful and VERY creative friends. So, what’s it like in the hospital….like the show Grey’s Anatomy? Keep your eyes open for us and let us know. tee-hee There’s not a day that goes by that we don’t think about you… the weird-normal girl that you are…actually you are one of 17 of our weird-normal children. Remember Grandmom’s sign on her refrig….Normal people scare me.
Yikes, we’re getting busy. So we gotta’ go.
Love you bunches, Josigirl! We’ll talk later.
Have fun today at the hospital.
Susan and Kathy
I forgot to tell you what happened to me Fourth of July. I was coolly driving, on Texas street.. got to the intersection of Texas and El Cajon. Stopped, like a good driver, at the red light.. both windows rolled down because it was H-O-T. Light turns green, I roll through the intersection at approximately 30 mph. When, all of a sudden THHHHHHHHUUUMP.. I get hit in the head with something that flew through my window. I glance in the rear view mirror, see a bird.. think it is outside on my car, and think OH MY GOD I killed a bird, when all of a sudden, I sense movement… and note that there is a PIGEON IN MY BACK SEAT. Yep, flew through my open window at a weirdo angle.. hit me in the head… and then kamikaze dived into my back seat. I pulled over on el cajon, both doors open , all windows open and tried to negotiate, with a very dazed and confused pigeon, involving banging on the windows.. til it flew out. What are the chances, honestly. A perfect dive bomb, at the perfect angle, into my honda civic.
Okay Josi, I just read Jomama’s story about the bird and was literally crying at my desk!
Anyway, I have a little anecdote for your as why I should not go to the gym early in the morning. It sounds like a bad idea, it is a bad idea, I am not a morning person! My story is clearly not as funny as Jo’s but my co-workers enjoyed it…I think.
Basically in a nutshell, I got up at 6:40am (early for me since I usually sleep in until 7:30am…nice huh?! Beats the days I worked at the City and had to be at WORK at 7:30am)to meet Angie at the gym at 7am. I left my running shoes in the trunk of my car along with my ipod. So I before I put my shoes on, I put my car keys and ipod on the trunk of my car. Reminder, I am only half awake, so I jump into my car and drive off to the gym. I get to the gym at 7:05am and Angie isn’t there yet. Since Angie is not there yet, I decide I will listen to my ipod. And when I start digging through my purse (ps. it is the “mom bag” – which is a pretty scary site these day since one can fit pretty much a small apartment in this bag – cheerios not included), no ipod to be found. Angie shows up and I tell her the whole story. I decide that there is a chance that I haven’t left it on the top of my truck and run over the ipod in my driveway but rather grabbed it and put it in the car. So I run down the three flights of stairs (fingers crossed) into the parking garage and low and behold in the distance I see a pink item sitting on my trunk! It’s my ipod. I drove from my house to the gym and the damn thing was still sitting on top of my truck! Can you believe it? It’s almost a modern day miracle!
So people reading this may think that I am a bit of a airhead but honestly, I believe this is one more reason that I should not get up early to go to the gym. Next week Angie and I are meeting at 7am again; it’s Jo’s bday so sacrifices will have to be made. However, I am leaving my ipod at home.
Hi Josi,
Glad to hear you’re kicking ass! Everyone misses you and wishes you well on your ass kicking adventure. Look forward to hearing from you and hope to see you soon.
Lots of love
Craig Liz